Their Untold Story
by Becca the fiend
Summary: Basically a collection of the cracky No.6 drabbles that pop into my head when talking with people in the fandom. Usually on TinyChat. Pure crack. For the most part unrelated. Read at own risk.
1. The Melodrama of Eve

AN: Inspired by TinyChat, and a NezuShi askblog couple. xD Sheaningans ensued.

* * *

"Oi, Shion, come over here!"

"What is it, Nezumi?"

"Look at this."

Without warning, Nezumi was shoving his brush and a handful of dark hair in Shion's face. Unsuccessfully, Shion tried to back up, blinking in surprise.

"Uh, what exactly is that?" Shion asked, quite confused.

"It's my hair. My hair is falling out. I'm _balding_."

"It's perfectly normal for people to shed their hair, Nezumi. People lose 75-100 hairs in a single day. It's not all that odd."

"I think this is a lot more than 100 hairs, Shion. I am going to go _bald_. I cannot go bald."

"Nezumi, you are overreacting."

"No, I'm not overreacting. It's probably your fault, anyway!"

"My fault?"

"Yeah! You and your stupid airheaded nature are constantly stressing me out too much, and not my _hair_ is falling _out_ of my head."

Shion couldn't respond as his partner flailed the brush and hair around melodramatically.

"I'm going to lose my job, and it will be all your fault, and then we will have no way to sustain ourselves, because you're absolutely useless, and then we'll _starve_ to death on the streets!"

"Nezumi! Really, you are overreacting. You are not balding. There is no visible difference in the thickness of your hair. You are going to be fine."

The actor glared at him.

"And now you're trying to _sabotage_ me?" he asked, distrustfully.

Shion sighed in defeat as his partner lapsed into another rant. The melodramatic were incredibly hard to deal with sometimes.


	2. Heart Printed Boxers

AN: Valentine's fic on Tumblr. Just because.

* * *

Nezumi didn't think he'd really been gone long enough for something like this. Perhaps he'd left for a few years, but really, in the long run, it wasn't such a terribly long time. At least not long enough for such a dramatic change.

It wasn't Shion's current state of undress that bothered him. They'd lived together in that small room for months, and had been living together since Nezumi's return - not to mention some of the _activities_ they'd been up to since his return. He'd seen enough of Shion to not be bothered by it now.

But this, this was beyond anything he would ever have expected. It was an abomination, really. At least he was pretty sure it should be an abomination.

"Shion. What, exactly, are _those?_" Nezumi couldn't keep the distaste from coloring his voice as he finally popped the question that had been plaguing his mind.

"They're _boxers,_ Nezumi," Shion replied, sarcasm heavy in his tone.

Nezumi merely stared at the garish, offensive article of clothing, eyes narrowed. He refused to believe that something that ridiculous could exist in this city once so starved for individuality. It was true that the previous policies had been almost entirely upturned, but really, any adult with common sense should know not to wear such horrendous clothing. But then again, this _was _Shion they were talking about here.

"I got them on a trip to one of the other cities," Shion started to explain. "There was an issue with the luggage and I ended up needing to buy new clothing to last me for a couple days."

"They have _hearts_ printed on them. What made you think this was appropriate? Certainly they had plainer pairs at the store. The other cities aren't so exceedingly different that everyone would be wearing _heart-printed boxers_ all the time."

"They were on sale," Shion pouted, "and they're comfortable. I'm not going to throw away a good pair of undergarments. That would be a waste."

Nezumi quirked a skeptical eyebrow at the other man. Shion smiled brightly at him.

"Besides, they're so festive!"


	3. Of Overreactions and Children

AN: Late night conversations about people overreacting in restaurants. Idek.

* * *

"So. Who's kid is that?"

"He's mine."

"And the father? Is it mine?"

"No? I mean Inukashi is helping take care of him-"

In a flash, the 20-year-old stood up, flipping the table forward in what appeared to be a blind rage.

"What the fuck, Shion? I thought you were above just sleeping around with people like that! But apparently I was wrong! And with Inukashi, of all people!"

Shion blinked in surprise, but hastily made motions for his partner to calm down.

"Nezumi! Really, he's not actually my biological kid, you know. He was the one whose mother died in the manhunt. Inukashi needed help raising him, and since I was responsible for saving him, I volunteered."

The actor stared at him blankly for a moment.

"Also, neither of us are capable of carrying a child. We're both male, after all."

"Oh, yes, you are right, aren't you."

Calmly, as if his outburst had never happened, Nezumi righted the table, and sat back down, once again complacent.

"Of course, you wouldn't sleep with Inukashi, at least. I forgot I didn't need to worry about you."

Shion sighed, and shot an apologetic glance at their waiter, who was looking rather forlornly at the food and drink spilled across the ground. Nezumi really did have a tendency to overreact sometimes.


	4. Come To Bed

AN: Late-night conversations strike again. xD

* * *

It was another late night of work for the Reconstruction Committee. It had been over 4 years, but there was still a lot of work to be done, even if all Shion wanted to do was go to bed and join a certain mousey-man who had recently returned.

As if on cue, the aforementioned roommate appeared in the doorway of the study, looking a tad irritable and rather sleepy.

"Oi, Shion. You coming to be soon?"

"I don't think so. I've got a lot of work to do."

"Do it in the morning. Come to bed so we can cuddle and I can sleep."

"But Nezumi-"

"Bitch. Come to bed now or I will knife you."

Shion stared at the other man for a moment, before marking his place and shutting down the technology in the room. One couldn't argue with that kind of logic, really.


	5. Of Penis Fencing

AN: Uhm. TinyChat. I don't even have an excuse.

* * *

"I won't hold back, you know."

"I wouldn't expect you to. I won't hold back, either."

"Oooh, I'm _so_ scared. The airhead's not going to be holding back, eh?"

"Shut up. You don't know how skilled I am."

"I'm sure his highness is decently skilled in this art. The question is whether or not he can best _me,_ of all people."

"We'll see. Are you ready?"

"I was _born_ ready."

"Alright then. Engarde, ready, Fence!"

In unison, the two males grabbed a hold of their dicks, and brandished them at each other. They moved back and forth in a strange sort of dance, trying to hit one another with their penises. Off to the side sat Rikiga, who was serving as their judge and commentator.

"The attack arrives from Eve, and it looks like it migh be a hit – NO, nice counter-attack from Shion! It's a fierce battle!"

The first score went to Shion, much to Nezumi's chagrin, as did the second, third, and fourth. The fifth score, finally, was Nezumi's.

For the rest of the bout, however, Nezumi had little luck. For every point he made, Shion would make 3 more. The airhead really was surprisingly good at this.

In no time, Shion had scored the 25 touches they had agreed would signify a win, and Nezumi had a scant 5.

"Shion, you win! Congratulations!" Rikiga told the boy gladly. Nezumi glared at them from the side as he pulled his pants back on.

"Well, Nezumi did put up a good effort," Shion said with a smirk. Nezumi merely sulked.

After they had both put their pants back on, and Rikiga had left, Shion spoke to Nezumi again.

"Remember you can't go back on our deal, Nezumi. I get to call all the shots in bed tonight."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I won't fucking forget."

With a radient grin, Shion placed a comforting hand on the other man's shoulder. Nezumi was instantly nervous.

"And don't worry about losing, Nezumi. There's always next time."

Nezumi had never known that Shion could produce such an evil cackle.


	6. Of Magical Dicks

AN: And... TinyChat. Again. I don't really know. We have a lot of problems. xD

* * *

"Alright man, promise me we're gonna work together from now on, okay? I don't want to fight with you. It's not good for either of us. So let's work together. And return to Shion soon, for all of our sakes."

"….Alright."

Nezumi moved to shake hands with the other being.

'_Wait. Hands? What the fuck?'_

"Dude, don't worry about the hands. I've got magical powers."

"... I'm not even going to think about this. I'll keep my promise as soon as a can."

"Alright, bro."

~lederpdisbealine~

"So you're going to stop ignoring me now, right? We need to work out these years of repression. We should at least have made some progress when Nezumi gets back."

"Ah... sure, I guess. I'll try to stop dumping cold water on you all the time."

"Let's shake on it."

"Shake? But…"

"Don't worry, I'm magical. I can manage hands."

"… Oh."

~lederpwebechanginscenes~

They had finally reunited. After some crying on Shion's part, and some tighter-than-necessary hugging on Nezumi's part, they had finally given in to the years of temptation that had been growing between them. It had been a bit clumsy, but after a couple rounds, neither of them cared all that much.

As they lay together on the bed, cuddling, Shion thought of what had brought him to this moment. He knew what would be most sensible to do, but he couldn't keep up a façade for long. He would have to tell Nezumi his newly discovered secret. It was the only way.

"Hey, Nezumi," he said a bit nervously, propping himself up a little to properly look at his lover.

"Yeah, Shion?"

"I.. have something to tell you. But you have to promise not to laugh, okay?"

"Shion, it can't possibly be that bad."

"Well… Nezumi. I think I have a magical dick."

The dark-haired boy, much to Shion's surprise, hastily sat up, looking at him with a strange expression in his eyes. It looked a lot like… relief?

"No way, you do too? Seriously?"

Shion blinked, unable to respond for a moment.

"Wait, wait. You mean we both have magical penises? _You_ have a magical penis?"

"Apparently. That's what it told me, anyway," Nezumi paused, and the two stared at each other for a long moment. "What… do we do now, then?"

Shion was silent for a moment.

"I… I guess we just keep them as happy as we can. It's really out only option."

"I guess it is."

"It's alright, Nezumi. We'll keep them happy together."

"I guess we will."


	7. Sombrero

AN: Someone on TinyChat made me draw this. And I needed to write it. I am not responsible.

* * *

"So the party starts soon, doesn't it?"

"It does. We should probably get going so we're not late."

"Right."

A brief pause.

"Oh, wait. I almost forgot. I've got to get the mini sombreros. Godzilla insisted on wearing one."

"Oh yeah! Mothra was going to wear one, too. I can't believe I forgot. Here, hand me one."

"Right. Alright, Godzilla, you need any help?"

"Naw, man, I'm good. Magical dick hands, remember?"

"Of course. Here you go."

"Thanks man."

"Okay, everyone ready to go?"

"Fuck yeah, bitch."

"Yes!"

"Yeah, man. Let's go!"


	8. The Abomination

AN: 2 months ago someone sent me a link to an image of "The Abomination." We then came up with scenarios involving NezuShi wearing it because that's how we roll. I finally got a chance to write it tonight. I regret nothing.

* * *

Nezumi had thought the boxers with the festive heart pattern had been the worst Shion could come up with. He was a bit of an airhead, sure, but he still was practical above all. Boxers were practical, despite what garish patterning they might have.

But this, this was the unthinkable. And Shion had the gall to be looking at him like _he_ was the crazy one. Like this… this _thing_ wasn't something bizarre to be wearing at all, much less be the only article of clothing on his body.

"What the fuck is _that_?"

"It's _underwear_ Nezumi."

"Bullshit. That… _that_ is not underwear. Where the hell did you even get that? _Why_ did you get that?"

"I ran into Rikiga in the market earlier this week and he insisted I let him buy me something. This was the first thing I grabbed off the shelf. It's surprisingly comfortable. I've been wearing it all day, and I've never felt so free!"

Nezumi couldn't even formulate a response as he looked down at Shion's "undergarments" once more. He didn't really want to know what kind of store Rikiga had taken him to, if the first thing Shion would grab off a shelf would be _that thing_. He wondered if the summer heat was starting to get to the other man, to cause him to resort to such strange actions.

While Nezumi was lost in his thoughts, Shion had reached around to find something in one of the dresser drawers. He pulled out a plastic bag, and triumphantly whipped out its meager contents.

Nezumi's brain short-circuited as he took in the object. It was a thong, just like Shion's red one, with an elephant's head where the genitals would go.

"I got one for you, too, Nezumi, so we could match! But I got yours in blue, so we wouldn't mix them up," Shion explained with a bright grin. Nezumi's brain kicked back into gear at his partner's words.

"There is no way in hell I am wearing that fucking thing."

~lololthisbealine~

He was loathe to admit it, but Shion had been right when he said the _thing_ offered for freer movement. As the weeks had worn on, and Shion had taken to wearing the abomination whenever possible, Nezumi's resolve had crumbled, and curiosity had steadily taken its place, until he finally put on the matching garment Shion had bought him. Immediately, he noticed how comfortable it was, and had taken to wearing it when he was completely alone.

Today, Shion was working late, and the apartment had been warm with summer heat. Nezumi hadn't hesitated to strip down so that the only article of clothing he wore was the blue elephant thong. It was more practical than it had originally seemed, he mused as he read his lines for the next play. He didn't notice he wasn't alone until Shion's voice sounded from behind him.

"Nezumi? What are you-"

Nezumi turned to face the other man so quickly, it was a wonder he didn't get whiplash. His face immediately reddened as he remembered his attire, and he shifted uncomfortably.

"Uh. This isn't…"

"I told you it was comfortable," Shion said with a smug grin.

"Yeah, I guess," Nezumi sulked.


	9. Pineapple

AN: This is all the fault of Tinychat and Gettheetomybednezumi. I take no responsibility for this.

* * *

It took two weeks for Nezumi to give in to his curiosity. Recently, Shion had taken to eating pineapple almost constantly. The fruit was present as a side for every meal, and every snack the white-haired man ate was pineapple. He had even been trying to convince Nezumi to eat more of the fruit, to no avail. Finally, Nezumi couldn't stand his lover's bizarre behavior anymore.

"Why are you so adamant about eating so much pineapple lately? It's weird."

"Well pineapple is a fruit and fruit is good for your body-"

"But why only pineapple? You get a lot of the same benefits from other fruits. It's not like pineapple is incredibly cheap, either."

"No, it's not. But we don't have to worry about that anymore."

"But there are still plenty of other fruits available, Shion. Why pineapple."

Nezumi did not expect the way Shion blushed, avoiding Nezumi's gaze.

"Well… pineapple is said to make your cum taste a lot better, so…"

Nezumi couldn't even think of a response.


	10. Pejazzled

**AN:** In the same universe as the Elethong and the Heart-shaped boxers ficlets. I think I actually have a problem. Also yes, Pejazzling is EXACTLY what is sounds like.

* * *

It wasn't long after the boxers incident that Nezumi found out Shion's much dirtier (and far more shocking, in his not-so-humble opinion) secret.

It had been a while since the last time they'd had any sort of _entertainment_. Shion had been busy with work, as had Nezumi. Shion had finally gotten a day off, and, while Nezumi couldn't exactly skip, he would be able to be home earlier than usual.

Shion could probably use a little time to visit his mother or Inukashi, or something. It had been a long time since he'd seen either of them, and they would still have the evening to themselves. Or, at least, that's what Nezumi had naively assumed.

It had all seemed so normal when he got home. Shion had been working on dinner – one of their favorite dishes – and Nezumi had come up behind him to nuzzle his neck and pulled out his "seductive yet domestic" moves that he had mastered.

Of course he had managed to keep it well contained until after dinner. That was how these things went. And Nezumi was a gentleman. (Not really, if you asked anyone but Nezumi, but he could at least pretend he was a gentleman. Sometimes.)

They had soon moved things into the bedroom, shedding clothing quickly. It was all going according to the formula, until Shion's boxers (plain gray ones, to Nezumi's relief) came off. Nezumi stopped dead.

"Shion. What. Is. That?"

"What? Nezumi what are you talking about?" Shion's voice was breathy and almost irritated.

"That…. That _thing_ on your _dick_?"

"What- OH, oh, you mean the Pejazzling?"

"….. The _what?_"

"The Pejazzling. When you were away some new businesses and customs started up in the city, and this was one of them. I found out about it quite by accident when they sent me a coupon. But it looked fun, so I went to the salon. Isn't it great? I wanted to surprise you tonight!"

Nezumi was pretty sure that stupidly honest smile of Shion's and his stupid, earnest nature were going to be the death of him. He wasn't sure if it was endearing or downright worrying. But before he could form an opinion on the matter, Shion spoke once again.

"Oh, but be careful tonight. It comes off with too much friction."

Nezumi couldn't even find the right words to respond.


	11. Bridal

**AN**: For Yamirou on Tumblr. Also inspired by fanart. I regret nothing.

* * *

"Hey, Nezumi?"

Shion's timid voice roused the actor from his latest script, doing his best to look unconcerned (but he couldn't quite conceal his curiosity).

"What is it?"

"Well… I've been thinking thatmaybeweshouldgetmarried."

Even though the words were spoken in a hurried jumble, Nezumi heard them clearly. He felt his blood run cold, but didn't get the chance to reply as Shion gathered the courage to continue on.

"I mean, I'm not worried about you cheating on me or anything. But I think it would make my mom happy if we had a wedding and I plan to stay by your side forever. I mean we have the money now and it wouldn't have to be a big thing. Just. You know. For my mom and stuff. I even got some magazines so we could plan."

Nezumi was rendered speechless, even as the other man turned around and reached into a nearby bag to retrieve the magazines. There were simply no words he could find with which to respond. Shion pulled out a large stack of bridal magazines and put them on the coffee table in front of him, grabbing the one at the top. Nezumi noted (with no small amount of distaste) that there were already an alarming number of sticky-notes peeking out of the edges of the magazines, marking pages upon pages of god only knew what. Shion picked up the top one and flipped through it as he spoke.

"I thought maybe a spring or summer wedding would be nice, but the weather would be more mild in the spring. I know we're both men, but I think you could still pull off a dress. I mean if you wanted to you could wear a suit, but you just look really pretty in a dress. Or to make it fair we could both wear dresses. But I probably wouldn't look as good in one but I don't really mind you can decide for us. I really would love to see you in a dress because you look so elegant in them, but I don't want to force you into anything. And I was thinking about color schemes. We'd need to figure out bridesmaids and groomsmen. And a guest list, too…"

Nezumi could only stare in complete horror as Shion continued to ramble about plans and bridesmaid dresses.

'_He's become a monster._'


	12. Man-legs

AN: Written for Naranjie on Tumbr. Because reasons. Hairy men errywhere, aww yiss.

* * *

It was laundry day, which meant that the occupants of the house were rather scantily clad as their clothes were all in the wash.

Shion had no qualms about being in the house in only his underwear – "It's a private residence, Nezumi. No one is coming to visit today. It's not like you haven't seen me naked before." – but his companion had insisted he at least put on a shirt. He even donated his own shirt to the cause, though Shion still thought it was silly. (But this also meant Nezumi was shirtless so who was he to complain.)

Of course, they both ended up nestled on the couch reading whilst the clothes ran through the wash. ("I told you clothing was pointless. I'm not going anywhere.") They sat on opposite ends, Shion having stretched out his legs.

"You know, I never would have expected you of all people to have gorilla legs," Nezumi piped up unexpectedly, glancing at his companion's legs.

"The amount of easily visible body hair has nothing to do with personality. It's all hormones."

"And that makes me even more awed at His Majesty's leg forest."

Nezumi started to tug at the hair on Shion's legs, twisting the strands one by one between his fingers.

"Body hair is _natural_, Nezumi. Even women have easily visible leg hair, even though they shave it off."

"Of course, of course, whatever you say. Though I did wonder if the carpet was going to match the drapes, so to speak. It doesn't here~"

Shion flushed, and glared at his companion.

"Well that's also perfectly natural for the hair on your body to be darker than your hair color. But at least I _have_ body hair. If I recall correctly, that is an area in which you are _lacking_."

Nezumi finally stopped tugging on his leg hairs to look up at him. His face was slightly pink, but his voice was as carefully composed as ever.

"You don't have any proof of that."

"Oh, but I do. We can settle this right here and now. Take off the pants, Nezumi."

"Why don't you make me?"

Shion lunged at his partner's legs as Nezumi stood to leave. He managed to latch himself onto the pant leg, though they didn't budge any lower.

"Shion, get off."

"Not until we settle this."

"That's not happening, gorilla-legs."

"Take off the damn pants, Nezumi."

Nezumi turned to look at the other man with a smirk on his face.

"Pretty eager to get me out of my clothes, aren't you?"

Shion sputtered, and let go of Nezumi's pants, barely managing to not fall off the couch with the change in the center of gravity.

"That is _not_ what I was trying to do, and you know it."

"Oh, but would you _really_ have any objections to such activity?"

"W-well of course not. I mean we've already-"

Nezumi cut off the other man by bending down to connect their lips. Things quickly heated up, and soon enough, Shion's hands were wandering to Nezumi's waistband.

He made quick work of the button and zipper, and let the pants fall to the ground carelessly. He glanced down at his partner's legs, and pulled away with a triumphant smirk.

"HAH. See! I knew it. Completely hairless."

Nezumi glared – and maybe pouted _just a bit_ – at Shion from the loss of contact.

"Shut the hell up. I have to shave for my _job_. Idealized women don't exactly have hair on their bodies. Especially not their legs."

"Excuses."

"I'm going to get you for that one, bastard."


End file.
